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Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
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7:13 pm - Like whispers in the dark . . . .
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I felt strangely today, like there was something I desperately wanted to remember and couldn't. I lit a Camel and sat on the patio chair, waiting for it to come to me. Randomly grabbed a CD and turned on the player, wanting to hear anything but the insistent rattling in my head.
A ghostly sound . . . faint but deliberate beat, a low and constant thud, which suddenly swells to full volume. Haunting melody begins to dance over the beat, sounding like something so familiar I can reach out and touch it with my finger . . . .
. . . yes. It is a pulse. It is the pulse of the place I love more than anything in the world. It is countless footsteps, subways rushing through tunnels, night splintered by a billion lights. It is a thousand languages, the stillness of snow on cracked, dirty sidewalks, it is unchecked violence and the greatest of joys.
"A billion worlds ago, they sang a song of leaving, an echo from the chorus will call them back again."
I am coming home.
current mood:  indescribable
current music: Covenant - "Call the Ships to Port"
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| Monday, August 27th, 2007
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11:55 am - Homecoming
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Hey y'all!
I'm at work, so I have about thirty-two seconds to make this post - but I'm coming home from September 26th until October 1st!
The fun part is that I'm not coming alone. Sheena and Lily-Marie are coming as well, but that's not all. . . .
I'm coming up with Powderburn, and we're playing on Thursday, September 27th in New York City, at Crash Mansion on the Bowery, to showcase for record labels! Our friends in Base2 will be playing as well, so this is going to be a huge family-and-friends reunion for those of us who have been too far away for too long.
We need all the support we can get, incidentally, and three of us are from the East Coast, and we've never played our home area in this band, so this is huge on a lot of levels. I know it's a Thursday, but try like hell to make it if you can . . . .
See you soon!
current mood:  excited
current music: "The Four Horsemen" - Metallica
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| Saturday, June 23rd, 2007
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11:14 pm - The Children Effect
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I am glad to be back in this space and posting again . . . . I feel like this is something that has been missing from my life for a long time.
So, I humbly submit the idea today that of all the things in this world, puppies can do no wrong. That's right . . . I said it. =)
When any organism is small and unbearably cute, it can pretty much do whatever it likes - if a a puppy pees on a thousand-dollar oriental rug, the owner would likely grin and bear it.
That being said, when a human being is less than a year old, I think it brings out the compassion and curiosity in pretty much every human being known to man. Sheena and I took a well-deserved trip to the Lakeline Mall today to pick up some things, and Lily-Marie took the trip with us. She was undeniably well-behaved, and I would have thought that this was a mall trip like any other, until Sheena went into some girly stores and I took the time to man a bench and feed the baby with a bottle.
I have honestly never been approached by more well-meaning strangers in my entire twenty-eight and three-quarters years on earth. =)
The age group of the people that randomly approached with everything from fawning compliments to well-meaning advice ranged from fourteen to eighty, and what truly struck me was the unabashed sincerity and honesty that a man with a child in a stroller can inspire.
So, I found myself wondering - why is it that it takes a tiny human of unbearable cuteness to inspire the desire for uninvited conversation and approachability in total strangers? If I were alone, would any of these people even give me the time of day? I hardly think so, and it sort of makes me sad. I am given to the desire to talk to everyone around me - to become (if even for only a few minutes) part of the lives of those around me, and I unabashedly enjoyed the attention from all these people, but I couldn't help but feel sad that this kind of behavior is only prevalent in the parents of small children and the imbibers of many beers or shots at your local watering hole. I just don't understand why without these undeniable influences, we are unable to connect on a conversational level without the groundwork laid by good friends or a shared vocation.
Does anyone else get what I mean by this?
current mood: curious
current music: Powderburn - "Observe"
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| Thursday, June 21st, 2007
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7:45 pm - The meaning of death
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It has been a long time indeed since I've opted to use this journal space. 49 weeks to be exact, according to the helpful counter that Livejournal has apparently now decided to provide. The site looks fresh and new . . . I kind of like it.
I saw a film today that I liked, right up until the end, but that is neither here nor there. It is called Stranger than Fiction, and if nothing else it does serve to make one think quite hard about the imminence of death and what to make of life before that last penultimate event.
It occured to me how much of our lives is spent in a mad, frenzied dash to avoid the inevitable - everything from Tylenol to diets to a well-remembered "look both ways before crossing the street" passing through your mind at every intersection. I find myself dreaming of death quite often, and even more pathologically, imagining it in various and sometimes grisly ways at several points of the day. Every day, that is.
In the car I fully actualize a the chaotic spinning, the loud grinding of metal, and the inevitable flame and fade to black. Every meal I picture at least once the frantic straining for air, the swimming vision, and the grand finale. In bed at night it's heartattacks, aneurysms, and whatever else I see on the latest episode of House. It's almost laughable when one stops to think about it. . . The scenes I imagine almost make the true possibility of the events less real to me, kind of like whistling past one long graveyard, if you'll allow me the pun.
So, as I took the garbage out after the movie, I invariably found myself rehashing the ending of the movie in my mind, wondering why I was so put off by the fact that what should have been inevitable wasn't necessarily so. I'm still not sure why that little psychological nugget bothers me, but I did come across another interesting thought.
I remember reading books by a lovely man named Robert Anton Wilson, who was wise about a great and many things, but he was very staunch in his support of all things that will keep humans alive for many more hundreds of years than is normal at this point, which was understandable considering his frail condition (he died just a year or so ago, from what I hear, his dream of living to 300 unrealized). When I read his reasoning - for example, imagine what Beethoven could have accomplished with more time . . . I for one can easily picture his Eighth Concerto for Electric Guitar. Imagine what Louis Pasteur or Thomas Edison or Michaelangelo could have contributed to our society. Maybe General Patton could do for the Iraq situation what General Petraeus or whatever his name is cannot.
I thought of all this and it occured to me that maybe Wilson had missed one vital point. Maybe every great person that I listed would have amounted to absolutely fuckall if weren't for the ever-looming possibility of death. Why should we do anything great at all if not for the one true way we have as fragile organisms to stave off death? If Patton had been a simple watchmaker, would we know him now? What if Pasteur had opened a shoe shop, Michaelangelo had went to seminary, or Beethoven took up ballroom dancing? Who's to say that two or three hundred more years of life will add up to further greatness when the possibility of ever more time on this earth is what you have to look forward to? All we truly can leave behind is legend, myth, and accomplishment, and the only motive we have to achieve these things is the knowledge that one day, we will no longer have the chance.
I would like to live long enough to see my daughter grow up, raise a family, find a suitable mate (male or female, I could care less), and perhaps learn something from my mistakes. If not, so be it, but at least I do not plan to waste many days until the last one I get. I do not welcome death any more than I used to, but I rather think I don't fear it quite so much either.
current mood: calm
current music: None, for once.
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| Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
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6:27 am - Another well-timed update.
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Finally, as the Texas-country poet Roger Creager sings - "Things look good around here"!
I started a new job today, at a warehouse that deals in semiconductors and other things I don't have the slightest inkling about, and it was pretty uncomfortable, at first. The owner is an angry man, to say the least, and I work with a white homophobe/racist who is also unfortunately VERY loud, a depressive 30 year old drunk, a 27 year old guy with two kids who quit his $1500 a week job and took this one to duck out on child-support, and a warehouse manager who is my age and is THANKFULLY normal and very easy to work for. The job is boring, repetive, and very easy, and apparently they've been through twenty (20) temps in the last three months! I wonder why. . . . . but by virtue of the fact that I can read and write, count to ten, and intend to actually work two consecutive days without calling in sick, they are already talking about promoting me to purchasing.
Great, yes?
No, actually, not really. The Purchasing department is three strong. . . the guy who runs that side of the business, his assistant, and the child-support dodger, who is moving to the front office. So, if I get the job, I'm back in my old bind - I'm the guy responsible for day-to-day operation and taking days off will be harder than juggling chainsaws blindfolded. Good thing I was was able to finagle this Friday off because there was some good news on the band front.
We're going on a mini-tour from Thursday to Sunday this week, completely out of the blue, with the band Powerman 5000 (heh, I can't type Powerman without starting to type Powderburn - happens every time)! We didn't even know we were booked for the Austin show on Thursday until a friend of a friend saw it on the venue's website. So, it's Thursday here at home, Friday in San Antonio, Saturday we do our own show in Houston, and Sunday we rejoin PM5K for our last date in Dallas. It's nice that after slaving for six years here in Texas, the band is starting to get some recognition from tour managers that aren't also our sponsors.
In other news, I spoke to a good friend and ex-roommate of mine for about an hour on the phone, and it was especially nice because we haven't really spoken in over a year. It really brought that old homesickness back for New York City, which is ironic because she and I were talking specifically about the likelihood of her moving here to Austin.
I also have been considering myself as a person, and for once actively making changes in my behavior and outlook on life. It's refreshing to just do something about it, instead of just whining about it periodically on MySpace or LiveJournal. In the same vein, I've been striving mightily to resuscitate my relationship with Sheena, whom I miss quite badly and apparently can't stop thinking about . . . or dreaming about . . . or drunk dialing at 1 AM (sorry). We have been through some pretty heavy conversations on the phone, which haven't been too easy on me - I was a overwhelming asshole about the breakup and incredibly obtuse and uncaring towards her feelings and the love she had for me. I really am my father's son in some ways . . . and the old habits seem to die hard.
One woman in the recent past that I briefly dallied with told me that she'd figured me out - "You're a heartbreaker. We'll go out twice and you'll never call me again". Don't ever think that strippers aren't smart, sometimes. =)
I don't think I want to be that guy anymore. I think I revelled in it for awhile, which is probably a nod to my incredibly awkward middle-school through high-school experiences, but it's sort of gotten old to me. I can be a rockstar and perhaps not be an overweening asshole, right?
Right?
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Roger Creager - "Late Night Case of the Blues"
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| Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
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12:42 am - NYC meme - because I am homesick.
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1) Where were you during the blackout of 2003???
Originally, in the beginning of the day, I was working in a liquor/wineshop on Elizabeth St. That was my busiest day of work, EVER. Everyone and their grandmother swamped us to stock up on vodka and wine. It was ridiculous . . . we had no idea when we'd have power again, and instead of canned goods, these folks were buying Merlot and Absolut. Awesome. After that, I met up with Doug Y. and we spent the night on top of his sister's boyfriend's building in Chinatown. It was fucking AWESOME. A great breeze up there, some alcohol and cheese, and helicopters overhead all night. The next day, Doug and I walked back to Brooklyn . . . I will never forget that day.
2) Did you have to drive during the blackout?
No, thank god. Driving in NYC is pretty obnoxious - like a videogame with one life.
3) Prior to 9/11 had you ever been to the top of the WTC?
Yes, I went with my Dad.
4) What do you think should be built there now?
I wish they would build it exactly like it was, down to the tiniest centimeter. That would be a bold statement.
5) Mets or Yankees?
I do like them both, but I prefer the Yankees.
6) Why did you choose that team?
I've always liked the pitching end of the game, and my first favorite team was actually the Houston Astros, because of Mike Scott and Nolan Ryan. When I got a bit older and more partial to hometown teams, I always liked both, but the Mets of '86/'87 had Dwight Gooden and Ron Darling and Jesse Orosco, and then I discovered the Yankees when I was actually old enough to play, and became partial to middle infielders and pitching. Willie Randolph at 2B was my first real big influence.
7) Have you ever been to the OTHER NY teams stadium that you are not a fan of??
Well, the only NY team I'm not generally a fan of is the Islanders, so no, I don't believe I've been to the hellhole they play in.
8) Favorite NY Beach?
Jones Beach. Not the greatest beach ever, but I did see a lot of great concerts there. David Bowie and Moby, bitches!
9) Favorite Pizzeria?
Ray's, solely for sentimental reasons. Specifically the one on Mulberry (or Mott, I can't quite remember which).
10) Jets or Giants?
I'm not particularly a football fan, but I'll watch either team. I remember liking the Jets more when I was younger.
11) Rangers or Islanders???
Rangers, all the way. . . . much to my chagrin up until this year. Right now, I want nothing more than to see Edmonton take the whole thing.
12) Knicks or Nets?
I genuinely dislike basketball, on a professional level. I'd much rather watch kids play on the court in Battery Park. They love the game more, not the money.
13) Are you a fan of the stadium being built in Brooklyn on Flatbush Avenue for the Nets?
It'll bring money in, and with it all the problems that go along with such things. I think it's kind of a wash.
14) Were you oppossed to the WestSide Stadium?
Yeah, what a terrible fuckin' idea. Manhattan doesn't have enough congestion problems?
15) First price you can ever remember paying for the Verrazano Bridge when you started driving?
I've only been over that bridge a few times while driving, and it was all within the time it went up to 6 bucks.
16) College, NY or somewhere else?
Purchase in upstate NY, for almost one full semester. Not my finest hour. =)
17) Did you leave NY and come back cause you couldn't live without it?
I left NY and I miss it every goddamn day, thanks for asking.
18) Favorite Borough?
It's a two-way tie for me between Manhattan and Brooklyn. My favorite living situation ever was with Doug and his sister in Brooklyn, and I've always loved working in Manhattan.
19) Your thoughts on the Belt Parkway?
Glad I don't have to drive on it. (ditto, Doug)
20) Duane Reade or Rite-Aid?
Duane Reade - it just SOUNDS more sophisticated. Heh.
21) Favorite Bagel Shop?
This place on 42nd St. that I used to go to on the way to the F train Station from the Port Authority. Best bacon/egg/cheese on a bagel EVER.
22) Have you gotten a ticket for driving while on the cell phone?
No. You are a punkass chump if you do.
23) Do you eyen know where there is a Sonic Burger?
Sure do. Every fucking hundred feet down here in Tex-Ass.
24) Have you ever had a Fribble?
Yes, and now I want one REALLY bad.
25) Will both Shea and Yankee stadiums be open this October?
Shea - no doubt. I have the utmost faith in that squad. The Yankees? Not so much. We've had too many injuries, and when it's a problem that Bubba Crosby went on the DL, you have serious issues. The Big Unit is also at the end of a fine career, and Moose can't carry the pitching alone. Wang will be great a year or two from now, but I don't think a ring is in the cards this year.
26) Favorite club / bar to go to?
Decibel Sake Bar, Fat Black Pussycat, CBGB's, Swift's, and that German place we went to with Conn once or twice.
27) Do you know who the New York Red Bulls are?
They used to be the Metrostars, and it's one step better than the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. People should be shot for naming sports teams in such embarassing fashion.
28) How many times as a native New Yorker have you been to the Statue of Liberty?
Once - also the day I saw my first homeless person.
29) Do you even know who Kevin Maas is?
Yeah, poor bastard. Sucks to make such a name only to flame out. If he was in a different town, he may not have burned up under the pressure and actually been someone.
30) Chelsea Piers....Good / Bad, overated, overpriced???
It is what it is . . . what do you expect for Manhattan, people?
31) Do you refill your metro cards???
I got unlimited cards when I lived there.
32) Ever been to Times Square on New Year's Eve???
You couldn't drag me down there at gunpoint. I'd rather be at Dave's house drinking 12 year old scotch with him and John Cecil again. That was a good night. =)
33) Have you ever seen a bum use the street as a toilet?
About as many times as I've done it.
34) Have you ever been hit by a taxi?
Not yet, but I'm waiting . . .
current mood:  bored
current music: Fall Out Boy - "Dance, Dance"
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| Thursday, May 11th, 2006
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1:23 am - Your circle of fear is the same . . . .
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I was going to write something meandering and self-pitying about why I feel so damned depressed tonight.
Browsing through my friends journal pages, my friend Joanna posted about something she's going through, and I realize she said it better than I could have.
Essentially, in the past month, I have deliberately become a worse person, in the aim of becoming a better person in the future. If that doesn't make sense, think about it harder.
- P
current mood: lonely
current music: HIM - "Circle of Fear"
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| Friday, April 7th, 2006
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6:52 pm - this is the best comic strip ever!
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5:53 pm - Ummm . . . really???
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Somehow, I think this is actually a terrible idea . . . . .
| Your True Love Is a Libra | 
Why you'll love a Libra:
Social and charming, a Libra is sure to turn your head in a group setting.
Libra has the style and grace to intrigue you... and the passionate soul to reel you in.
Why a Libra will love you:
You're laid back and patient. Libra doesn't feel rushed to make a decision with you.
An appreciator of beauty, you can show Libra all sorts of inspiration - from art to nature. |
current mood: relaxed
current music: Avenged Sevenfold - The Beast and the Harlot
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| Thursday, March 16th, 2006
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6:47 pm - Strange reminders . . . .
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I was driving home from work about two days ago, and while I was waiting at a red light I saw a homeless guy wearing an old Brooklyn Dodgers jersey, and between the pocket full of change I had and the fact that he made me think of home, I motioned him over to the car.
I roll down the window and hand him the money, and usually the panhandlers in Austin are VERY polite - it's pretty much a respected way to earn money here, and there are plenty of people here who do it and have nice houses and good cars. Instead of saying thank you, he actually glares at me and says what I thought was "What, because you're a big movie star you're better than anyone else?" I just kind of stared at him and said "What makes you think I'm a movie star?"
He shakes his head and says "Everyone is a star.Everyone is a star and now," he pointed at the light turning green without even turning to look at it, "you're moving. You're a moving star". He grinned and I drove away completely blown away that a homeless man in Austin, Texas quoted Aleister Crowley at me, and a very relevant phrase to me, as well . . . .
I've focused on my music career to the detriment of everything else for over a year. I've never been more focused in my life on anything, actually, and that's been a good thing. It was nice to be reminded that there's more to life than what you do and even who you perceive yourself to be. It was nice to remember that the spiritual side of my life is waiting for me, when I'm ready to get back to it.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Queens of the Stone Age - "Mexicola"
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| Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
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6:46 pm - It lives!!!!
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Hey everyone - this is my bi-monthly "no, I'm not fucking dead" post! Rejoice!!!!
Anyway, here's the brief synopsis of what's going on in my life, cut into bite-size, digestible pieces.
- I am still with Sheena, approaching the 3 month line, and it's pretty much one of the best relationships I've ever had in my life. This is aided by the fact that we don't plan to move in together for some time and we have about an hour between the towns we live in, which limits our ability to see each other every day. So, we're taking things fairly slowly, and I'm happier than I've been in years in this regard.
- The band is absolutely kicking ass, and our record is FINALLY almost ready to come out. We landed two dates on the Spring Jagermeister tour with Staind and Three Days Grace, and I'm pretty stoked about it. We also had reps from Virgin, Immortal and Nuclear Blast check out our last show in Killeen, and while the latter two were just kind of getting a look at us and a feel for what we pull in in merch sales and how many shows we do out of Austin, Virgin (the biggest one by FAR) is interested enough that the A and R guy, Scott, is flying out from LA to see us again during the SXSW festival! So, I'm trying not to be too excited, but it's getting harder and harder to restrain myself from doing cartwheels down my street. . .
- I still miss New York very badly, and dream of it often, but I'm finding some peace of mind and acceptance of the fact that I will be in Texas for some time to come. I miss all of you back home very much, and a happy belated birthday to you, Dave Robles - I'm sorry man, my only excuse is that I've had the goddamn SARS the last two weeks and I've been delerious for most of it. . . .
- I lost my job last Friday, put out about five or six resumes yesterday, and got five callbacks today. I essentially got to choose what job I wanted. It's nice to finally feel a bit wanted in the job market! It'll also be nice to not have a boss who uses every curse word under the sun on you when you make a simple mistake. Good riddance to New Zealanders with anger management issues!
- I am learning the bass, and I'm improving. I used to just play simple HIM and Motley Crue stuff, but now I'm learning and remembering more complicated songs . . . my favorites to play right now are In My Time of Need and To Rid the Disease from Opeth's Damnation album. Still, it's not exactly Iron Maiden-level, but I'm getting better and that's a good feeling. I've also decided that when I get my new job, I'm going back to taking drum lessons. There's no reason in the world why I shouldn't be getting better at the instrument that I intend to make my career with, right???
- I quit smoking yesterday. I tried the patch and actually managed to near-fatally overdose on nicotine while at work, but instead of making excuses or whining that I can't do it, I just ran my half-pack of cigs under the faucet and threw them out. I've been sweating it out like Ewan McGregor in Trainspotting ever since, but I think this time I may actually have this thing licked.
- I have been following what's been up with y'all in your friends pages, and I'm glad to see that for the most part everyone is doing well. Cheers - especially to Zen Debris and their successful show with the Flying Buttresses!
- My friend from home, Alissa, is coming to visit me with her boyfriend Pete, and I am stoked to see them again! MORE OF YOU SHOULD COME TO AUSTIN, FUCKERS! It's fun down here, and the beer's cheap. =)
That's all for now. . . . hopefully by the end of next week I might have some even better news!
Patrick
current mood: hopeful
current music: Atreyu - "Her Portrait in Black"
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| Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
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5:04 pm - Coming home for Christmas
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Hey all -
I haven't been on Livejournal in some time now, but I've been keeping up with all your posts . . .. so check this out.
I'll be home (home meaning the NY/NJ/CT area) from Christmas Eve until New Year's Day. I've gotten in touch with a lot of you, but for the rest - if you want to hang out - send me an email at patrick@powderburn.net and I'll add you to the ridiculous route I'm putting together for the Tri-State Area visits. =)
In other news - the band is doing really well, we have four new songs almost done in the studio (just a bit of vocals and mix/mastering to go), in addition to the one we cut a few months ago and the spare track we had from before I was in the band. This 6 song EP will likely be packaged with a DVD of live footage and some other crap, and we'll be selling it online and at shows real soon. I might have a CD with me when I come so some of y'all can hear what I've been up to for a fuckin' YEAR.
I also have a new girlfriend, and I think the Melissa situation is finally behind me. Her name is Sheena, and as far as I can tell, she's NOT crazy. Will wonders never cease? Heh.
Anyway, gotta go - hit me back if we haven't talked in awhile. peace!
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| Thursday, October 13th, 2005
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8:47 am - Karma
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A quick update - I'll post more when I'm home or when I go to lunch (I'm here at work right now, though I don't know how I made it here, heh).
Melissa broke up with me yesterday, on my birthday, via email. She is not keeping the kid, and I am moving out as soon as it's financially possible.
She's keeping the house, and I'm trusting her (for the moment) to pay back all the money I sunk into getting this house together for us. I'm also, for the moment, keeping the bills in my name until her friend Megan can move in with her, which is the plan right now.
While this is painful and confusing, I'm actually much more relieved than anything else. The last two months have been the most depressing and trying time of my life, and I think a lot of it is some good old-fashioned karma - most of the best learning experiences you have in your life tend to knock you down and beat you up to get the point across.
So, Universe, the point is taken. You win. . . .
current mood: exhausted
current music: Dead Can Dance - Rakim
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| Friday, August 26th, 2005
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4:38 pm - Okay, the news.
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Yeah, so everyone that needs to know in the family level knows, so here's the news.
I'm pregnant.
No. Not really. I'm getting married to a girl named Melissa Fisher, who happens to totally rock. It's spontaneous and sudden and probably kind of crazy, which makes it three million times cooler to me.
I've heard every warning, caveat, and outburst possible, and that's all just from my mom. =) I'm happy, and I hope you're happy for me. Even you, Kim. Heh.
So, that's the news. Take it how you will, I'm happy as hell.
current mood: ecstatic
current music: Elysian Fields - Parachute
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| Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
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12:29 pm - The homeless are funny.
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As seen on the frontage road for I-35, at a traffic light, on a sign in the hands of an incredibly wild-haired homeless man.
"NEED MONEY. FAMILY KILLED BY NINJAS. SAVING FOR KARATE LESSONS."
I damn near sprayed Diet Coke out of my nose. If he wasn't three lanes away, I would have given him whatever was in my wallet.
Big news on the horizon - but can't share until those that are family-types are informed first. Stay tuned, kids.
P
current mood: amused
current music: Peter Murphy - "Gliding Like a Whale"
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| Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
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12:03 am - Take me to the Corn-Belt!
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So, it seems that most of the drama concerning the clash between my lovelife and music career has settled down some. I'm not holding my breath, but I think everything will iron itself out in the end. Naomi and Melissa met for the first time, and that went way better than I ever possibly could have hoped for. It was at my show on Saturday, so I was nervous as hell and worried about how the band would react if there was some crazy catfight, but I go to get a beer, and come back to find them sitting together, laughing and joking like they'd known each other for years. CRAZY, right?
Of course, my friends and the various other people I know all tried to complicate the matter as much as possible. . . . including one drunk and well-intentioned girlfriend of a friend trying to start a fistfight with Melissa. Sigh.
Ken also threw a full shot of Jager at me, which hit me in the face. I don't know if there's another substance in the world that hurts worse when it gets into your eyes than fucking Jagermeister - all 56 ingredients felt just like battery acid. It also either tore my contact lens, or just dissolved it for all I know. Either way, I'm stuck being bespectacled for awhile . . .
Which sucks because I have a pretty big show coming up on the 4th - we're doing the Iowa Metalfest, with God Forbid, All That Remains, and Full Blown Chaos headlining. The one band that was going to play that I really like, As I Lay Dying, actually just dropped off the bill, of course. I think I'm gonna have to go up there with one lens in and hope for the best. And that Ken's aim is bad from there on out. Heh.
Oh, I don't know how many of you guys have MySpace, but if you do - here's the URL for my page: www.myspace.com/patrickpowderburn . There you will find new pictures of me with my little emo haircut and also a picture of Melissa, if you're interested in that.
And now. . . .to bed.
current mood: relieved
current music: Megadeth - Captive Honour
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| Monday, May 16th, 2005
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7:08 pm - News from the front. . .
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My god, but Texas is a soul-sucking whore. That being said . . .
I saw VNV Nation on Saturday, and I have to say that the Austin show was the best I have seen them - topping the two times I saw them in NYC. It even beats the show where they did Forsaken with vocals, Left Behind, and Savior all on the same night. The crowd energy and participation was such as I haven't seen at a show of ANY genre in years.
The first two bands - Soman and Imperative Reaction were also very good, the former being a one-man show with a trancier edge to the synthpop, along with no vocals at all. IR was very much like Ungod-era Stabbing Westward live, though their CD's have a far more EBM bent. I was surprised to see four people on stage when VNV got rolling - they added two bald, foreign synth-minions - the first was the German guy from Soman, and the other was a Norseman named Christian (if that is indeed the spelling). There were more languages being spoken on stage that night than you'd hear in the lobby of the goddamn UN!
The new stuff works much better on the stage than it does on the CD in many ways, but I can't even really pin down why. I disagree with [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<ljuser=saintinhell>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] My god, but Texas is a soul-sucking whore. That being said . . .
I saw VNV Nation on Saturday, and I have to say that the Austin show was the best I have seen them - topping the two times I saw them in NYC. It even beats the show where they did Forsaken with vocals, Left Behind, and Savior all on the same night. The crowd energy and participation was such as I haven't seen at a show of ANY genre in years.
The first two bands - Soman and Imperative Reaction were also very good, the former being a one-man show with a trancier edge to the synthpop, along with no vocals at all. IR was very much like Ungod-era Stabbing Westward live, though their CD's have a far more EBM bent. I was surprised to see four people on stage when VNV got rolling - they added two bald, foreign synth-minions - the first was the German guy from Soman, and the other was a Norseman named Christian (if that is indeed the spelling). There were more languages being spoken on stage that night than you'd hear in the lobby of the goddamn UN!
The new stuff works much better on the stage than it does on the CD in many ways, but I can't even really pin down why. I disagree with <ljuser=saintinhell> that the new stuff is too similar to their other stuff - there is effects that sound very similar to live drums and guitar that they have previously avoided, though the lyricial style is the same (which is a good thing). I think Perpetual is probably the best of the new stuff. I was also disappointed that roughly half the new record is instrumental, and so far nothing's caught my ear like Electronaut did.
Anyway, the afterparty at Elysium was fantastic, and it was nice to chat with Mark and Ronan again. Christian and Kolja were also very nice, with the former surprising me with his store of Norweigan metal-band knowledge (Hammerfall is his favorite, but someone in VNV fucking Nation found Nightwish to be too "dramatic". That cracked me up).
Moving on. . . .
I love how evil big record companies are. I bought some T-shirts online from the Warner Bros. Records online store. I ordered them in Small, they sent me Larges, and I have to pay the shipping costs to get my exchange done. I'm surprised they didn't hit me with a restocking fee, and a breathing tax while I was at it. Fuckers.
I've also been having some seriously horrible nightmares. It is pretty much a constant occurance, from the time I fall asleep until I vault awake sometime at 5 AM, and has gone on for well over two weeks. I've been noticing similarities between them, and the most recent thread has been being surrounded by beautiful women (sometimes one, sometimes many) who approach me, bend down and kiss my neck and hands and arms, and then they turn into hideous creatures who start biting and tearing at me. I've heard of desire eating you up, but this is ridiculous. Another that I had was that I was in a hospital waiting room, and this woman came in, confused and lost. She then turned into probably the most horrible monster my psyche could create, and still keep the woman vaguely human-like. No one else could see that she was really a monster, and she pretended to be a blind, mentally-ill woman. The nurses kept asking her if she was a special case, and making exasperated faces at each other. The woman-thing just stared at them with her dead, blackly swirling eyes and grinned with rows of horribly sharp teeth. It then looked at me and I never woke up in such horror in my life. I shudder when I think about it now.
So, the woman has prepared the meal and I must depart the internet before she stabs me in the spleen. Ciao.
current mood: exhausted
current music: The Used - Maybe Memories
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| Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
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5:36 pm - it lives . . .
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I'm not dead. Seriously.
I'm finally getting internet back on Wednesday, and have procured a laptop computer that actually computes faster than a Texas Instruments calculator from 1987.
I miss every one of you jackasses, and I'm planning a trip back to NYC in the very near future. . . homesickness eats at me like hungry cockroaches.
Quick news - the job is going well, I cut my hair again, the band stuff is going well, slowly but surely. If you go to our website (www.powderburn.net) - the jump page has a link to where you can vote for us to get a slot on the Zippo Hot Tour. If any of you have ten minutes to do this, I will go down on you. No. Seriously. Winning this thing would be seriously in our best interests. . . . . oh, and you can vote every day. I can amass some serious debt this way, I know, but we need this! Heh.
current mood: calm
current music: The Used - "Cut Up Angels"
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| Thursday, April 7th, 2005
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5:19 pm - real quick
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No, I'm not dead. I've been without internet for some time, and my new job kind of frowns on any recreational internet use that isn't directly email-related. I'm sneaking this in to let everyone know I'm alive and not ignoring your posts.
Anything you want or need from me, including just to say "hi", drop a line to withinadyingsun@yahoo.com. I'm really bad at remembering email addresses, so hit me up.
P
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| Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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1:59 pm
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Yo, everyone.
I'm not dead, I just don't have internet right now, and won't for the next few weeks. I've been without for some time now, and I'm kind of going crazy. I can still check email at work, so direct all news and communication requests to withinadyingsun@yahoo.com .
And tell yo momma last night was dope!
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